'The Three Do's of Christmas' from creative agency, Shout About London

There’s so many things you really shouldn’t do when organising and attending a Christmas party.

Call the boss a *bleep*, photocopy your *bleep*, fall asleep at the wheel *beeeeep*

The clichés are well worn!

In the spirit of the season, here’s three things you can do, that will make it one to remember:

1. Go somewhere where there’s actually an activity

Having something to do during a Christmas outing, has more benefits than a crooked MP.

How many times have you been to a work party and got stuck at a table with someone you don’t know and with nothing to talk about, except…. work?

Prosecco is always a good loosener, but after five glasses you’re starting to feel bloated and this guy has only become more passionate, about the internal politics, you’ve got yourself almost drunk enough to forget.

Stick a few darts in his hand, surround him with another few people and all-of-a-sudden, you have it, the currency of Christmas – distraction.

From an employer’s perspective: 

• It reduces the amount of time people have, to JUST drink.

        Less money spent.

        Less people being sick.

        Corporate responsibility, yaaay.

• It gives you commonality, halting the awkwardness of having nothing/just work to talk about
• It actually feels like the company have made the effort to organise some entertainment
• It gives people something to talk about the next day at work (other than who copped off with who in the… yawn)
• There are pictures of people doing something, other than sitting at a table trying to suffocate the awkwardness out of the room using the inside of a pint glass

    2. Eat, always, always eat

Don’t be one of those people that decides ‘eating’s cheating’; you’re not a student anymore (unless you are, in which case, read this twice). It’s important to get a meal in before partying into the night.

If you don’t feed people, lots of things could happen, but two things definitely will happen:

• People will leave early, because they’re tired and hungry (and annoyed you didn’t feed them)
• People will get battered, very quickly, because they’re tired and hungry (and annoyed you didn’t feed them)

    3. Leave them wanting more

It’s often the after party where the most dubious of antics are realised.

By this point:

• Everyone is getting on like a house on fire

Because of those amazing activities bonding them together

• They’re all pretty drunk

But not too drunk, because you fed them

• And the most senior people have already learnt rule number 3

So, they’ve already gone home and left the kids to party.

You on the other hand, are still standing there, glass in hand, dribble accumulating on your corner lip faster than the bruises forming on your elbow, from using the bar to prop you up. You’re thinking “is it time to go home yet?” Let me tell you this, if that thought has crossed your mind, the answer is: YES.

If you’re still enjoying yourself, you’ve had fun and people are still somehow enjoying your company (Jaeger is such a great invention), now is the time to make your exit.

If in doubt I want you thinking ‘Dark Knight quote, Dark Knight quote, Dark Knight quote’.

"You either die a hero, or live long enough to become the bad guy"

So, time your exit and leave a hero, before those cheers become chants of “two face”, and you’re chased home by a giant angry bat.